Uncertainty, Lost, Weird~

It has been one month that i din get my sleep well, busy practising dancing for performances and competition. Having a CNY celebration and FESNI in KTT, this is really exhausting... Well, not to forget, actually i really enjoyed the process all the way through till recently, i really feel too tired. Being not able to get enough sleep and rest, not enough time to study and etc... This somehow made me feel kinda stress~

There's one day where I really broke down. I think i'm too exhausted, making me to miss my home more... Missing the moment when my family are there to support me when i'm tired~ Really home sick, i WANNA go home!!! T___T This few days, I can't really control my emotion well, there are up and downs. Sometimes, I'm happy, sometimes, I'm not~ I dun even know what i'm doing~ Should I shouldn't I? Is there anyone to lend me his/her shoulders to lean on? Even just for a while... Cos I really needs lots of support right now, but it seems mostly dun understand~

From FESNI, ya, I get to know more people from the other programmes, but I oso get to see people's true colours, selfishness, jealousy and materialistic. Being negotiative is good instead of conquering the thing, being respective towards the ones should be, accepting and compromising people's words and critics~ Being competitive between 4 houses, we must fight for our house success and at the same time, u wanna support your friends from the other team... Ain't easy huh?

One more thing, now I realise that girls' jealousy can be scary. I think sometimes I have this feeling oso. I just dunno why I'm having this feeling~ Why, why, why? It's just so weird... And this feeling is not easy to cope. Recently, I really feel lost cos I dun really know what my heart wants... Trying to avoid, but it seems unavoidable~ I know, but I'm not sure~ How complicated is a human feeling huh? Tired and exhausted~ I should just stay as the way I am. For there will be people to accept me for who I am~

I really wish to end this fast so that I can get a proper rest and proper sleep free from stress, dreams and complicated minds. And thanks to all my friends who are there for me helping me all the way through~

I know who u are and I'll not forget what u guys had done for me~ Million thanks~