When I'm still small till about form 3, I'm dark and not even pretty, but to u, I'm always cute. You buy ice-creams, clothes, snacks and things that I like to eat for me. Thinking back, I remembered another thing. It's been a routine that every morning, you and ah kong will bring me out for breakfast during primary schooling time. This is because I'm in the afternoon session. You are just so warm. Every image is still vividly playing in my mind. The way u cool down the milo for me cos it's super damn hot. Ordering all the dim sum that I like to eat. All this are in the past, but in my heart forever. Even the restaurant that we used to go is now no longer operating.
19 years staying together, I noticed the changes in you. From plump to thin, smooth to wrinkles, black to now grey and white. Slowly, your health deteriorates. A few years back, it was lucky that we still have you, we did not lose you. But this time you're attacked again. You're not as strong as before. I pray for you to fight till the end. But still, the battle is over. The second attack is just too cruel. It attacks you straight to the bed making you lieing there. Making you being not able to talk, wake up, open your eyes and you're just lieing there. Not knowing who we are anymore...
Just yesterday, I knew about this. I could not believe it because everything was just ok when I leave on the Sunday. I thought u are just having a slight fever. Papa did not tell me and ge ge cos he didn't want us to worry as we are having exams soon. Accidentally, I got to know from ah ching ge ge status on Facebook. And an hour ago, I received the call saying that you've leave us..... I can't take it~ How should I say this? Perhaps staying together with you so long, makes our bonds stronger. Many don't understand. Most grandchildren are not really close to their grandparents. But, this was all the way opposite for me. For I live with u the minute I'm borned. Since yesterday, I was damn worried, knowing the news in the afternoon, at night I received another call saying that the doctor said, "It's only waiting... Waiting for the time to go." I was like...... There's nothing we can do to help you. NOTHING!!!
Reminiscing back, there's just too much that happened. I remembered each happy expression of u when u know about my results, you always advised me to take care of myself no matter where I go and who I mixed with. You've always worry for me, but I promise u, I'll be fine and I remembered every advices that u gave me. Your fall two years back makes you becoming more dependent on me and mummy. You need our help to get up, when walking and sit down. We need to keep an eye on you to make sure that u are ok everytime. Helping you all the way, from sending u into the the toilet and everything.
Ok, I admit that I do feel irritated and 'pek chek' at times, when u keep repeating the same thing over and over again, asking the same question over and over again. But I know, this is not what u want. It's all Alzheimer causing u to be so. I'm really sorry if there are times I threw u an irritated face. Forgive me for that. Now, I really, really, really hope that u would just wake up and irritate me again. But, I know. It's definitely impossible... Cos, I've lost u forever..... I prayed for u and may peace be upon you. To me, u never leave cos u'll be in my memory and heart forever. Thank you, Ah ma!For everything~ And also sorry, if I've not did a really good job as your grandchild~
Appreciate each and everyone who's by your side. Love them and care for them. Take care~
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